C is for Change

JADF writes a good post about how we blunder through our lives post-divorce, and notes:

These fathers' rights blogs seem to come and go. I myself find that I have periods where I just can't seem to write anything. Nothing has changed, and that's not much of a blog post "nothing has changed". Other parts of life roll along, as they ever do, and mere existence becomes the distraction. This too, is how fathers end up "losing touch". It doesn't matter how hard they fight, or don't fight. Nothing changes, so they sleepwalk into another life and out of their children's.
Sleepwalking, indeed, is the only thing to keep one going, after a while. Being awake, after all, just means knowing what is going on, knowing what has happened and hurting over not being able to do anything. Better to sleep...

And that has been where I have been, and how. Life is busy, and with both my own living to finance, and that of the insatiable bloodsucker that is my ex-wife, the burden requires quite a bit of attention. Regular blogging requires a significant investment of time and energy, and eventually, even witha relatively complex topic like divorce and men's rights, there isn't much new to say. The system grinds on like it does, men continue to get destroyed, and the greater world seems not to notice at best, or deny and lie at worst.

With that said, I think it is, still, a worthy topic, and whereas I may not spend as much time raging against the machine, I hope to continue with this blog, contributing a little bit to awareness of the status of men in our civilzation each month, and perhaps, as I get chances to do so, editing and re-issuing some of my old posts or creating derivative posts.

With that said, I have also noted the passage of time, and several blogs that I once linked to have gone silent.

So I have emplaced a new template, and built a new list of links. I hope you all like the new look.

My best to all of you in your struggles!

-M

O is for Opportunity

This guy sat next to me at work, maybe a year ago, and one day he heard my story, and shared his with me. It is not an uncommon one... Starts with a dedicated family man (FM), brother of my co-worker (CW), and FM's opportunistic wife (OW). FM has kids with OW, and OW sees her road to eternal gravy opened up and takes him to the local 'Pump-and-Dump', aka the NJ Divorce Court. You would think that FM would just live in poverty and slavery for the rest of his life, but divorce creates so very many ways for women to steal money from men without any realistic chance of punishment that it boggles the mind.

See, FM gets called up to go to Iraq, and OW starts complaining she isn't getting her blood-money. CW, not wanting to see his brother get in trouble, or his niece/nephew suffer, starts paying her support directly. Some time goes by, and CW is able to contact FM (who was out of touch due to the nature of his work in the military) and FM swears he *is* paying. OW claims otherwise, and so CW, out of consideration again for his niece/nephew and to keep his brother (FM) from being immediately arrested upon his return, keeps paying OW. Finally FM returns from Iraq, and shows CW his check stubs. OW claims that she never received any money during the period. They look at going to court, but none of the payments were being made through probation, and there was no written agreement between OW and CW, so OW can and will claim that the payments to her were a gift. Also, if the thing goes to court, FM will pay both his and her court fees, which will easily come to $9,000, rendering the whole court proposition uneconomical.

So there is no punishment for, or repaying by OW. She has 'worked the system' and collected twice for what she probably shouldn't have received in the first place.

Ain't NJ Grand? Talk about your 'land of opportunity.'.

Oh, and let me say a little something about slavery. First step in slavery is to reduce someone's legal standing. Making them pay their abuser's legal fees, making their abusers immune to perjury charges, placing the burden of proof on them... And forcing them to turn over the fruit of their labor without any real ability to challenge need or justice, and all under threat of seizure, prison and punishment. Support is slavery, pure and simple.