Tuesday, December 11, 2007

M is for Myths

From "The American Myth of Divorce"

"Don't stay together just for the sake of the children." "If divorce is better for you, it will be better for your kids."

This has been one of the myths of divorce that has now become the conventional wisdom of an American society that is no longer marriage and family friendly.

But after 30+ years of American's disastrous experiment with no-fault divorce, the research on the effects of divorce on children of the broken homes is conclusive.

For the past 30 years, Americans have used these ideas to justify their increasing recourse to divorce. Recently, however, mounting empirical evidence indicates that these justifications are illusions. The widespread practice of divorce in this culture has been based on the wishful thinking of adults while its tragic cost has been borne by children.

When the feminists such as Betty Freidan et al pushed for no fault divorce laws and started the divorce "revolution," they pushed their ideas under the idea of freeing women and children from the "oppression" of Patriarchy.

This cancerous ideology of selfishness has now metastasized and corrupted the nuclear family to the brink of societal crisis...and it's the children of these "no-fault" broken homes who have suffered the most.

Even though 80 percent of men and 50 percent of women felt their lives were better after divorce, the effects on children were disastrous. By almost every measure, children in divorced families fared worse: emotional problems, early sexual experimenting, dropping out of school, delinquency, teen pregnancy, and drug use.

Remarriage was no solution; children in stepfamilies were two to three times more likely than their counterparts to suffer emotional and behavioral problems and twice as likely to have learning problems.

Long-term studies by Judith Wallerstein and others argue that the impact of divorce on children is cumulative. Even 15 years after their parents' divorce, many children are emotionally troubled, occupationally aimless, and unable to sustain a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Their parents' inability to sustain the relationship that counted most to them and the subsequent loss of connection to their fathers seem to have eroded these young peoples' sense of identity and ability to trust others and commit themselves.

The results are in, and the feminists that have engineered the current state of affairs, the breakdown of marriage and it's long term effects on a generation of children born of broken homes is undeniable.

A house with parents in extremely abusive relationships was NEVER the majority of households in America...yet the feminists set the precedent and lobbied for "reform" under the banner of protecting mothers and children from abusive fathers. But most divorces since "no-fault" became the paradigm are really not a result of a victimized mother escaping an abusive man.

So, should we stay together for the sake of the children? Dafoe argues that in most cases the answer is yes. Divorce makes sense in the 10 percent to 15 percent of troubled marriages that involve high-level and persistent conflict with severe abuse and physical violence.

But the case is not so clear in marriages marked by marital dissatisfaction, emotional estrangement, boredom, or another romantic interest. In these instances, adults, who are more resilient than children, can be expected to sacrifice some of their own interests in order to preserve the stable and caring home necessary for their offspring to flourish. Traditionally, spouses were obligated not merely to stay in a troubled marriage for the sake of the children but to improve it.

This is how marriage USED to be generally viewed by society as a whole. But thanks to the MYTHS of divorce promoted by the feminists and divorce industry profiteers, we no longer live in a society that recognizes this basic truth - most marriages that are struggling need to be worked on by BOTH parties. Instead, we now live under a system that PROMOTES and offers INCENTIVES for one or the other to simply walk away from their problems...and the highest price to be paid for this selfish act is paid for by the children!

Isn't it time we recognized that the "divorce revolution" has been a disaster, and it is time to recognize the oft repeated myths such as "it's better for the children" to be the evil, family-destroying lies that they really are?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We need new forms of marriage-- prenups with teeth, so that women will go into it fully committed. The courts now reward selfishness and dishonesty.