Thursday, September 29, 2005

F is for Faith, Hope and Love

I started this post as just a brief comment about the month that has past, and the rolling over of the second thousand visitors to the MIsForMalevolent, but instead it has become about finding hope, keeping on with the journey, and spiritual wellbeing – fighting depression. I hope that it helps.

Two Thousand some people have wandered by MIsForMalevolent since I first started it just a little over a month ago. Thanks to you all for your time, and your attention. I hope that you all have found if not encouragement in the facts and thoughts presented (there is little enough to be given), perhaps a sense that you are not alone, and that others have walked this lonely valley, and are walking it even as I write.

Others have picked their way across this barren landscape, scanning the horizon for even the faintest hope. Others have labored across this desert with almost unbearable burdens. You are not alone, even if it feels that way.

You are not what the system labels you.

You are not just a paycheck.

You are not a ‘bad father’.

You are not worthless.

You have a right to joy, and happiness, to have some small possessions, a job and a place to live. Find a way to have these things, because without them you will descend into despair.

If you have to escape to maintain your sanity and peace, do so. If you can live with the persecution, and provide value to your family, do that. But don’t let the system take away your spirit. A living father is worth far more than one who is spiritually or physically dead. Do what is necessary to maintain your mind, your body, and spirit.

You are valuable, far more valuable than you know. You have great gifts to share with the world – your attention, your caring, and your helping hands. Don’t let these assets become lost to the world, and don’t under-rate them.

It may be that you need to find peace with the injustice that men suffer in this world – but don’t fail to support those who need to rage against the machine. And to those who are filled with that rage – know that some people can’t make it unless they find some peace.

Vote with your hands, with your minds, with your feet, and with your mouths. Do things that help other men, vote for leaders who care about men’s rights, move to states, regions, and areas that are male-positive, and let other men know what is going on, and why you do the things you do.

Find things to keep you moving ahead, and to remind you of how far you have come already:

Count the days until you next see your kids.
Count the days until your support payments end, and track how much you have paid.
Track the years since your divorce.

Make a list of 10 things you would like to be able to do in your life, and keep it where you can look at it. You will achieve these things, perhaps sooner than you think.

Pray. Even if you are an atheist. It can’t hurt. It will help, if only to focus your thoughts.

Walk with God.

Finally, find some small piece of joy or for each day, and focus on that. Many days will be dark, and sometimes your life will be full of burning rubble. There is more, this is not all that there is. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. Tomorrow, you may be able to help someone else who needs you, and tomorrow, maybe, you will find a brighter prospect on your horizon.

My best to you in your struggles

-M