Tuesday, January 22, 2008

K is 'For the Kids'

Hey Fred, whassup? Buy you a drink?

Sure, get me a Sam Adams.

So Fred, how's the new job treating you?

Not so bad, except we're at a standstill. All work is halted while we wait for the layoffs.

Ow, that's not so good.

Yeah, but that's not what I'm worried about. See, I've lived through lean times before. But the judge just increased my alimony.

No! How'd that happen?

She went to court and claimed that she wasn't able to live the way she had during the marriage.

Didn't she bankrupt you with her spending when you were married?

Almost. You remember - It took me a decade, and all my assets to clean up the bad credit, and the credit bills she stuck me with.

Couldn't you raise that as an issue?

Sure, but remember, we live in a no fault state. It's not her fault she lived beyond her means, just my responsibility to keep her there. Heh-Heh.

Nice. Does she work?

Yeah, which I hoped would make a difference. Her earnings almost doubled since the divorce.

I guess your earnings went up more?

No, I'm taking home about the same, a tiny bit less, in fact. But the judge said that in the divorce she had 'contemplated' being able to maintain the same lifestyle that she had during the marriage, and said I had the ability to pay to support that. I got her legal fees too.

I guess she made a big presentation with her monthly expenses and what she pays and all.

Not reallly. She just claimed in court that she had to shop at Wal-Mart all the time.


Yeah. It's like a joke, except not funny. She buys everything from LL Bean. (Laughs)

Nice work if you can get it. What happens if you lose your job? Will your ex understand?

You've got to be kidding. She'll sue my pants off first thing.

What for? You got a secret bank account somewhere?

No, but she thinks that my family will bail me out, and the legal fees will all be mine anyway, so she might as well.

While you are out of work?

Sure - the court will say my being out of work is temporary, and 'impute' my old income to me.

Ow, well, I suppose there's unemployment.

Not really, see if I'm out of work for more than a month, my arrears will get high, and they'll start taking 65% of my unemployment.

Remind me again why we stay in the country?

It's the kids, dude, it's all about the kids.

Let's drink to the kids.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

S is for scary. S is for slave.

I hope the kids appreciate it...